A Knock in the Night
by luvsanime02
Summary: One-shot. "...I suppose it could have been worse."


**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter belongs to Rowling. I'm making no profit off of this fic.

**AN: **Rated K+ for implied situations. Also, I'm dedicating this fic to Greensl33ves. She knows why. (Edited 12.2013)

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**A Knock in the Night **by luvsanime02

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"Would you quit putting your hands on my hair and _yanking_?!"

"Shhh!"

"Ow! Damn it, Potter!"

"Shut up! There's someone out there!"

"Oh, really? Just like there was the last three times? That's it, let me up. I'm leaving."

"Would you quit being so obnoxious? And I'm serious, can't you hear that?"

"What does it matter if someone's out there anyway?! In case you've forgotten, we're in _here_ and the door's locked!"

"And what, you've never heard of _Alohomora, _Malfoy?"

…

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Merlin, you're an idiot. A complete and utter fool, Potter."

"Fine, if you want to leave that badly I'll unlock the door, and whoever's out there can just-"

"There's no one out there! And that's not what I'm talking about. We're in a broom cupboard, Potter."

"Yes, thanks, I hadn't noticed."

"A broom cupboard. That's locked. After curfew."

"So… what you're saying is that any other students who heard something would just assume that we're-"

"Yes, good boy, Potter. That's exactly what I'm saying!"

"Oh, shut it. And that still doesn't help if it's Filch or one of the professors, now does it?"

"You do know that, unless _you're_ up to something, most of the professors like to sleep at night? And how, pray tell, is Filch going to open the _magically locked _door?"

"There's no need to be that sarcastic about it. Merlin, you're such a git. And that sneer's not at all attractive. Besides, how doesn't this count as 'up to something?'"

"What would you know about looking attractive, with hair like that? There _are _spells to tidy up one's appearance in the morning, even if you can't be bothered to comb it-"

"It's always looked like that! Wait a minute, what spells? Are you telling me that you're actually so lazy that you use a _spell _in the morning to make your hair look perfect?"

"No, actually, I don't. I was-"

"You're such a ponce."

"Shut it, Scarhead. _I _don't need to use a spell in the morning to look good. I just do."

"You do realize that I don't believe you, right? Especially since you're lying."

"It's not like it's uncommon! Even Granger uses one, I'll bet. Otherwise, there's no way she could get that bush combed every-"

"Shut up about Hermione!"

"I didn't say it was a bad thing! What, am I supposed to lie and say her hair's _not_ a complete nightmare?"

"Just, let's stop talking about this anyway. We're not here to talk, right? Besides, my knees are killing me."

"You're the one who wanted to argue about why a _Squib _would be able to unlock a magically locked door!"

"There's nothing wrong with being a Squib!"

"Merlin, just shut it! My back's killing me. And I think there must have been a loo or something those supplies got used on today, the way everything smells."

"I really didn't need that visual, Malfoy, but thanks."

"Just hurry up, you gormless-"

"Better?"

…

"What? Malfoy, what-"

"_Get off my hair!"_

"_Ouch!_ Quit poking your knee into my side. You're pointy everywhere."

"'Pointy?' Who the hell are you calling 'pointy?'"

"Well, you _did_ just nearly crack a rib there."

"You keep on trying to yank my hair from my skull!"

"Alright, alright! There, better now? Can we just get on with this before it's morning?"

"…I am not 'pointy,' Potter."

"Whatever, Malfoy. And you don't strut around school like a peacock either."

"Get off me _right_ _now_, so I can bash your stupid, Gryffindor-"

"No, really, you didn't just hear that? That sounded like knocking!"

"Potter! For the love of Merlin, would you just shut up! There's nothing outside that door. No ghosts, no annoying poltergeists, no Squibs and their deranged cats, and no professors skulking about when they could be asleep. Now, shut _up_, and start moving your hips again."

"Er, hullo Professor."

"Potter, that's not funny."

"Detention, Mr Potter, Mr Malfoy. For a week. And thirty points each from Gryffindor and Slytherin. Get back to your dorms immediately, the both of you. I'll discuss your _separate _detentions in the morning. Preferably _after_ I recover from the rather large amount of gillywater I'm going to have to consume in order to forget what you just said, Mr Malfoy. Good night."

…

"I told you I heard someone!"

"Shut it!"

"…I suppose it could have been worse."

"How? How in Merlin's name could this have been worse than being caught in a broom cupboard with you of all people, and by_ McGonagall_? She hates me."

"The fact that you're an arrogant little toe rag might have something to do with that. But I was thinking more along the lines that it could have been Snape instead."

"How would that have been worse?! At least then I wouldn't have gotten any points taken from Slytherin! I wouldn't have those detentions either."

"So, what you're saying is that you would have rather been found by someone who probably writes to your father on a regular basis?"

"He's going to find out anyway! Professor Snape's going to ask McGonagall why I have so many detentions, and-"

"She won't say anything. Well, she'll say we were dueling or something. But she won't tell."

"…How do you know that?"

"Because she just said so! She just said she was going to, er, drink a lot of gillywater in order to _forget _what she'd just seen."

"You know, I don't know why you pretend to be so gormless all of the time. It's really annoying."

"Well, now that I know how to annoy Draco Malfoy my life's goal is accomplished."

"Shut up, Potter. Let's just- Let's just leave before Professor Snape actually _does_ come along."

"Right."

"What?"

"Did you just see a shadow move over there?"

"A moving shadow?"

"Yes. Wait, where are you-?"

"I'm going back to my dorm before your bad luck costs me even more house points!"

"Right. Later, Malfoy."

"Night. Oh, and Potter? Just so you know, I'm telling everyone in Slytherin that we had a rather spectacular duel that ended in your rather humiliating defeat."


End file.
